Sunday, February 26, 2006

It's a Red Letter Day in Mayberry

Don Knotts, one of the greatest comedic actors of all time, has died in a Los Angeles hospital aged 81. He's most loved for playing Barney Fife on The Andy Griffith Show, but he's been in many movies and also co-stared on Three's Company.

Goodbye Bernie. We'll miss you.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Keith Olbermann is My New Hero

I have to start watching Countdown on MSNBC. I've seen too many good clips of Keith Olbermann to ignore it any longer.

This clip proves that Keith Olbermann deserves to be my new hero.

The More Pathetic Side of My Life

I am addicted to the most ridiculous game ever. Let me introduce you to Fish Tycoon. The premise of Fish Tycoon is that you, the game player, are too lazy and stupid to actually have real live fish, so you download a computer game where you simulate having live fish. The simulated live fish (simufish, if you will) must be fed in order to "stay alive" and sometimes you must actually give them medicine because they get gross green or white spots on them. Or if you don't want to spend the "money" for medicine, you can just trash them.

The "object" of the game is to "discover" new "breeds" of fish by "impregnating" one fish with another fish. Once the baby fish gets "old" enough, you can see what kind it is and what kind it's "parents" were. You can also sell fish and make "money" to improve your "tank" and buy more fish stuff. The game goes in real time so the fish grow, get hungry, and die even when the game isn't on (like real fish).

After many rounds of impregnating and selling various fish, you might have a beautiful "tank" of simufish to enjoy.
But don't take my word on how great this game is - here are some real quotes from people who have played the game:
This game is great. Its so much fun to have virtual
fish, because they don't make a mess. Fish Ivr, Texas
It is the best fish game I ever played Frank, Albany

Of course, the most fun part about it for me is waking up in the morning to see how many of my fish have died in my sleep.

Friday, February 24, 2006

My Own Slice of Heaven

I am currently in Panera Bread simultaneously listening to my iPod, blogging, working on school stuff that is fast approaching overdue-ness, and enjoying unlimited Diet Coke and coffee (separate cups - I'm not that odd) refills for as long as I continue to sit here. How could life get sweeter?

Due to the free Wi-Fi and afore mentioned drinks, Panera has now become my place of choice to do school work. I can't focus when I'm at home because of the numerous distractions that are my life. I tried going to the library one day and it was alright, it's just that there aren't unlimited cups of coffee at the library.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Playing the Fame Game

Here's an interesting article comparing the "antics" of Mr. Cheney and Mrs. Spears-Federline to two everyday "criminals."

Very interesting indeed.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Batchin it

Since about 3:00 today, Phoebe and I have been on our own. Sam's in Forsyth for training until Wednesday night. Since I have had about six and a half hours of "me time" I can tell you something - I'm not a good "alone" person. It feels like I've been in this apartment for DAYS when in fact, it has been just an hour since I got back from the grocery store.

I have no focus either. I'm supposed to be doing reading for my class tomorrow since I have about 100 pages left to read but all I can do is watch TV and drink Diet Coke.

I've got to get myself together. It's going to be a long 3 days.

Friday, February 17, 2006

More List O'Doom

So, honestly, I forgot about O'Reilly's "Media Operations that Traffic in Defamation" a.k.a "List O'Doom." I was scrolling through my backlog of posts and came across the one I wrote about said List O'Doom. And being the curious creature that I am, I wanted to see what other appalling publications had made the list (before the list contained such highly despicable filth mongers such as the The New York Times, The St. Petersburg Times, and MSNBC).

Lo and behold, four more names have appeared since last I checked! Wee! Now we have The New Yorker Magazine, Newsday, US News & World Report, and (duh duh duuuuhn) The Atlanta Journal-Constitution! Now, all of us Georgians know how vile and loathsome the AJC is. Personally, I can barely stand to see it around. I mean, when we got it for free in college, I could hardly stand to read it two or three times a week (or basically as often as I could find it lying around - the newspaper racks emptied quickly).

Now, looking at this list, I have to wonder - what have St. Petersburg, New York, and Atlanta done to make O'Reilly so mad? Why haven't other city papers been singled out? I would think that The Washington Post would've made the list long ago. And even a paper from San Fransisco, the city he offered up to terrorists, hasn't been named yet.

Any bets as to who gets named next?

More Poignant Than Ever

I know this is old and has been circling the net for a while, but it just seems so much truer today...

This One's For You, Elaine

From a piece of Dove candy:

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Guess I'm an Idiot...

From Shakespear's Sister:

I’m not being self-deprecating; Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia told me I’m an idiot.

People who believe the Constitution would break if it didn't change with society are "idiots," U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia says.

In a speech Monday sponsored by the conservative Federalist Society, Scalia defended his long-held belief in sticking to the plain text of the Constitution "as it was originally written and intended."

… Scalia criticized those who believe in what he called the "living Constitution."

"That's the argument of flexibility and it goes something like this: The Constitution is over 200 years old and societies change. It has to change with society, like a living organism, or it will become brittle and break."

"But you would have to be an idiot to believe that," Scalia said. "The Constitution is not a living organism, it is a legal document. It says something and doesn't say other things."

Like, for example, how it says that black people constitute not a whole person, but three-fifths of a person. Or it did, anyway, until an amendment was made, superceding that despicable sentiment.


"They are not looking for legal flexibility, they are looking for rigidity, whether it's the right to abortion or the right to homosexual activity, they want that right to be embedded from coast to coast and to be unchangeable," he said.

Here’s where Scalia and the rest of the “originalists” get it wrong: The issue is not that the Constitution will break if it does not change with society; it’s that society will break if the Constitution does not change. We had a civil war in this country over that very principle. We cannot stop society from changing; no rule, no law, no legal document no matter how firm can stop the inevitable progression of society. All we can do is make decisions about who and what we will accommodate within the law; choosing to restrict rights on the basis of race, or gender, or sexuality, will not temper the desire of the repressed to be equal, but instead force strain at society’s margins, until it breaks.

There must be a reason beyond distaste, aesthetic displeasure, tradition, or “because my god says so” for denying equality, opportunity, and personal freedom. In the void of rational reason, we find no compelling necessity to continue to deny to some the rights that we extend to others.

I see no reason to imbue the government with the decision about what a woman should do with her body—or what a man should do with his, for that matter. I see no reason that someone who loves a person of the same sex, by fate or by choice, should be prohibited from enjoying the same rights as I have. I see no reason that the Constitution should be used as a vice to control the expanding vibrancy of our society. If that makes me an idiot, then an idiot I shall be.


And all the idiots said Amen.

Happy Valentine's Day

And Here It Is... Your Moment of Zen

The Daily Show for Monday, February 13th.

Surely to go down as one of my favorite TV episodes EVER.

And, yes. I watched it last night. It was yummy.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

My Week is Made

Cheney accidentally shoots hunting companion.

Icing:
"Now I understand why Dick Cheney keeps asking me to go hunting with him," said Jim Brady. "I had a friend once who accidentally shot pellets into his dog - and I thought he was an idiot."
"I've thought Cheney was scary for a long time," Sarah Brady said. "Now I know I was right to be nervous."


Shakespeare's Sister has this picture and copy (which I love love love):
Vice President Dick Cheney, center, accepts a rifle from National Rifle Association President Kayne Robinson, right, and NRA Vice President Wayne R. LaPierre, after concluding his keynote address to the 133rd annuanl NRA convention in this April 17, 2004 file photo in Pittsburgh. Cheney accidentally shot and injured a man during a weekend quail hunting trip in Texas, his spokeswoman said Sunday Feb. 12, 2006. (AP Photo/Gene J. Puskar, File)

I'm so happy.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Blame it on the iPod

Hello, my name is Emily and I'm a podcast-aholic. It's great. It's crazy. I wish I had more. My current list is:
HBO: Real Time with Bill Maher
NPR: African-American Roundtable
NPR: Pop Culture
NPR: Story of the Day
NPR: Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
Project Runway: Tim Gunn (Elaine, it's awesome! You have to listen!)

Sit Down Comedy with David Steinberg
The L Word
The Planet: A Podcast for L Word Fans!
Toucher, Jimmy and Leslie: Mornings on 99X
VH1 Best Night Ever
VH1 Best Week Ever

I'm sure there will be more added.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Bigotry Makes Me Ill

The other day on the drive to Auburn I saw a homemade sign hanging on a street sign. The homemade sign said "Jesus Loves Babies." I had two thoughts: 1) Who doesn't love babies? and 2) Wild guess - a anti-abortionist made that sign. That was pretty much the extent of my thought about it since it's pretty commonplace to see stuff like that down here in "God's country." A few miles down the road I saw another sign made in a similar form that read "Gays Fill Up Hell." I had a few thoughts about this one, most of which utilized my cunning wit ("what, so there's no room for you?", "how hard would it be to change 'gays' to 'close minded asshole bigots'?") but it also made me very angry. How dare they use a public sign to host their pretentious filth. How dare they force that bullshit down the throat of every person that drives down this road. As I became more and more irate about the situation, I made my mind up to take down the sign if it was still up the next time I drove by.

I drove by today and it was already down.

Score one for the good guys.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

I *Heart* Gay TV!

I have two new TV loves. One is on the air, one is not. Both are courtesy of Showtime. My first favorite is Queer As Folk. I just bought seasons 1-3 on eBay for a freaking steal. (woohoo!) Now I just need the last two. The other one is The L Word. It's still on the air, but again, on Showtime so I can't watch.
I've downloaded almost all of both shows. It's how I get my fix.




Tuesday, January 10, 2006

The Annual Burning of the Christmas Tree: Oh My, What a Production

O Christmas tree, burning Christmas tree
Your usual splendor was not there.
O Christmas tree, burning Christmas tree
Overall, this year's event rates fair.
Your usual luster was forsaken
The fireworks, I'm afraid, have overtaken.
O Christmas tree, burning Christmas tree

The burn is about you, it just seems unfair.

O Christmas tree, burning Christmas tree
It used to be just you and the fire patrol
O Christmas tree, burning Christmas tree
Now the event has become out of control
With too many guests
It is now just a mess.
O Christmas tree, burning Christmas tree

And now twice as big is next year's goal.

O Christmas tree, burning Christmas tree
And now I must say adieu.
O Christmas tree, burning Christmas tree
I feel that we are now through.
This year may have been my last
The best burns, I'm afraid, are in the past.
O Christmas tree, burning Christmas tree
This simple song is my ode to you.


Monday, January 09, 2006

A Conundrum if There Ever Was

For about a week now I've had a cold. It's been quite a cold. Usually, when I have a cold or some other illness, I break my 'No Sodas' rule and have ginger ale. Well, I've been drinking diet ginger ale for a while now because it has no sugar and I like it. So I've broken the rule for it. But it's hard to find. So this cold has caused me to break my rule again (the bubbles in the carbonation help temporarily clear my stuffy nose, if you must know), and long story complicated - I'm now addicted to Diet Coke. So, the question is: now that I've already broken my rule for diet ginger ale, do I continue to break it (assuming this cold ever goes away) for my new Diet Coke addiction or do I go cold turkey?

Oh, this wretched life I lead...

Thursday, January 05, 2006

I Hate You Anonymously

I recently came across Vent, an online vent site where you can say what you want about who you want and it is completely anonymous. It's pretty funny to scroll through some of them. Equally anonymous, but where others can comment about whatever you've said is Craigslist's Rants and Raves. I've linked to Atlanta's R&R page, but it's not as good as some of them. Atl's is mostly ignorant "I hate you cuz you're black/Mexican/gay/different." Some of the larger cities (San Fran, NY, etc.) are better.

You Don't Care, But I Do.

I get very nervous when any of my computer programs prompt me to "update." A new, supercool version of this program is available. Don't you want to upgrade? You don't want to be the only one with last year's version do you? *shudder*

It makes me nervous because, while sometimes they are new and improved, often they just suck and I hate them. So, I usually stick to my old tried and true version. However, I recently upgraded my iTunes to a new version and was pleasantly surprised, so, on a upgrade high, I did the same to my iMesh (how I get all my music and videos off the 'net).

*sigh* I should've known better. It's complete crap. I should've done my homework before and read some reviews of it. I did that afterwards and lo and behold, everyone hates it. Well damn. So I fiddled with it for about 30 seconds, after which I got pissed at it and promptly deleted the whole program. Now I have no way to get my fix. I'm looking for a place to get the older version. If I do, I'll never give it up.