Heavy with the Weight of God's Damnation

I (finally) finished Lamb. It's wonderful. I want everyone to read it and love it as I do.

Can't Sleep

I can't sleep (as is evident by the title of this post. I felt the need to emphasize.). I miss my boyfriend. I miss my cat. I miss my bed. I don't particularly miss our loud upstairs neighbors who apparently think that moving furniture while wearing tap shoes is a grand idea, but the other stuff makes up for this one. Alack, alas.

Why is it that since I got out of the hospital everyone feels the need to tell me "don't do that again"? I can't tell you how many times I've heard "You really scared me/us. Don't do that again." I mean, I get it. I'm loved, everyone was worried and scared. But guys, it's not like I thought that getting my blood sugar over 700 would allow me to travel through time. If that was the case, then no, I wouldn't do that again. This was an accident; it was a weird combination of random events that caused me to get very very sick. Can't promise that's not going to happen again. Sorry, but it's true.

Ok, I'm done.

I'm sorry. I know you guys love me. I'm just venting. After all, it is 3 am. I'm officially allowed. Look it up. I dare you.

I Think You Should Be Aware of This Stuff

Cool video for those of us who dig Gmail.
Brave women defying custom. More here.
Very moving story by Anderson Cooper.
Travel advisory from the Miami Herald.
"Puritan Politics." This shit just makes me angry.

If You Haven't Already

See Rent.

Do it. You'll love it.

La Vie Boheme

Too Much?

The problem with getting sick is that it messes up all your plans. I am supposed to be done with my first semester of grad school by now. I'm supposed to have all of that under my belt and be concentrating on what to get whom for Christmas. Instead, I'm worrying about make-up work and finals and when/how I'm going to get this done. I also have the cute little quirk of trying to do everything at once all by myself. I'm a horrible judge of "realistically, can I do this?" That's my conundrum now. I feel able to jump back into things, but my gut is nagging me not to. I don't like this. I want to be 100%. I should be back into it. I just feel like I'm laying around all day doing nothing and failing everything.

Being sick sucks.

And Now, As They Say, the Rest of the Story

Well, if you haven't heard by now, you're probably living in a cave stealing internet service and don't really know what a "blog" is.

If that's true - welcome, welcome to my blog.

If not - I've been a little sick. And by a little, I mean I'm typing this from my hospital bed.

Let's back up.

I was moderately sick almost all of last week. One of those "it's getting cold and it's finals time, so I'd better get sick" things. I didn't have to go in to school on Monday and I stayed home on Tuesday because I was still feeling sick. Wednesday I felt much better. I went to school, felt a little dizzy walking to my office, but I figured it was just because I hadn't gotten out and about for a few days. Thursday comes around and I feel worse than ever. So I stayed home - and puked my guts out all day. Ok, I know what you're thinking "come on, puking all day? Right." No really. No one has ever spoken this statement and meant it more than I do right now. I counted. I threw up 6 times on Thursday. I couldn't keep anything down; I was afraid to brush my teeth because I thought some of the toothpaste would trickle down my gullet and cause me to projectile vomit all over the bathroom mirror. I threw up three times because I drank a bottle of water. By time 4 I knew I was getting dehydrated. Sam was at work, so when he called to check on me I had a laundry list of dehydration-preventing supplies - gatorade, ginger ale, popsicles, etc. By the time he got home, I had passed the 5 vomit mark. I think my exact words when I got off the phone with him were "I have to let you go now - I need to throw up again." And I did. By this time, my throat and teeth were rotting away because of all the stomach acid I was pushing through them (not really, but it felt like it). The rest of the evening went relatively smoothly; I was able to drink quite a bit of gatorade and water and only reach a cool half dozen trips to the toilet. (Side note - I got so tired of going back and forth to the bathroom that I made myself a sad little pallet on the bathroom floor and bonded with a hand towel that became my pillow for quite a while. I even made a special place on the floor under the other towels for easy reachability when I was lying on the floor. And I named him Hank.)

So, it becomes night time and I'm exhausted, what with all the heaving, so I go to bed. This is when it really starts to get interesting folks. Sam stays up for a while, because it's probably only about 9:30 and decides to make a pallet for himself on the floor so it'll wake him up when I (inevitably) stumble out of bed in need of fluids or the toilet or something. Two things he fails to take into consideration: 1. The man has slept through gunfire and didn't even roll over. No joke - ask him about it. 2. Almost the minute I fell asleep I started hallucinating. Hard core, psychedelic, I have no idea what's real and what's not hallucinations. Now, for those of you who don't know - I am a dream believer. I've had many mornings where I woke up and it took about 15 minutes for me to realize that I didn't win the lotto and buy everything I wanted. That happens a lot. These weren't dreams. I think there was something about minions or a crew and I'm pretty sure I thought I was Elphaba for most of the night (if you don't know -SHAME! Look it up.)

Once the hallucinations started, my memory goes fuzzy as the next events. I do remember several things happening: I got up several times for the bathroom and wound up falling asleep on the floor with my feet in the tub and my head on Hank (see above reference). And, I think this happened last, I ran out of water and decided I could get it myself. Turns out I couldn't and wound up passing out on the kitchen floor for about 30 minutes. After I woke up, I yelled for Sam and he, looking very panicked and confused and to how/why I was in the kitchen on the floor, helped me get water and got me back to bed.

After this, it was Saturday. I have no remembrance of Friday. I lost Friday. For an account of Friday, see Sam's posts.

The next thing I remember is waking up with tubes coming out every which way and being asked hard questions like "where are you?" and "what day is it?" (I got the first one right, at the next one, I apparently looked at the person asking and replied in my best 'I-just-woke-up-from-a-coma-you-jackass' tone "I don't know." I'm pretty sure that if I had been able to move, I would have done the Dane Cook "Ohmygod *snif* I'm late!" move, except mine wouldn't have been ohmygod, I slept through work, it would have gone something like "Ohmygod! *Snif* I slept through Friday!" What kind of excuse do you have for sleeping through an entire day?? I can't even try to pull off an excuse. I should skip right to dumping on his chest. (Again, if you don't know - SHAME!!)

So, I stayed in ICU until Sunday when they rolled me up to the regular ward where I met my new roomie the incredible farting, snoring, gotta-watch-four-hours-of-soaps-and-informercials-all day 91 year old woman who has the incredibly endearing quirk of yelling "BATHROOM" everytime she needs a nurse to help her use the bathroom. Which, don't get me wrong, isn't actually in the bathroom where you can shut the door - nay friend. Her personal toilet is 2 feet from my bed. Literally, if (god forbid) I drew back the curtain I would be face to freaking face with her poop pot. (Elaine, I don't think I've told you lately that you were a joy to live with. Thank you for not pooping near my bed.)

Now, I'm all set and ready to go home (which they should let me do tomorrow). The only reason I had to stay today, is that I've had a low to moderate grade fever since I got here (which probably had something to do with the fact that my white blood cells were inside my body going "what?!? Are you kidding us here? Let's just watch - let's see what happens here, guys.")

I finally got my sense of humor back today. I've heard it's the last to give up and the last to return. (I just made that up, but it's pretty good, right? Ah, screw you.) If they don't let me go tomorrow, I'm gonna have to resort to some hard core charming. I've been periodically making mental notes of witty things to say:

"No, it's not a fever - I'm just this hot!"

That's all I've got. I think of others while waiting for the vampires to come steal my blood away at all crazy hours of the night.

UPDATE: I just realized I referenced something that I didn't actually post about, but emailed Amanda about. The last two nights I haven't slept much at all (probably about 3 hours each) and I think it has something to do with the fact that the nurses and orderlies think 2-4:30 is the optimal time to draw blood. So I just sit here, waiting, knowing they're going to come in, flip the overhead light on, and sing-song that familiar "time to take some blood Ms. Jackson!" as soon as I close my eyes.

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree!

It's official - it's Christmas time! The tree has gone up and is decorated. Isn't it beautiful? It took us almost all day Sunday to decide on and find decorations for our new tree.

Phoebe loves the tree. When it's lit up, she sits under it like she's a cute little present. But, of course, it's all for her...

List 'O Doom

So, Bill O'Reilly's blacklist of "Media Operations that Traffic in Defamation" is up. And, well... I've gotta say that I'm really very disappointed. I was really hoping for some new reading materials, but the list is... uninspiring. So far, only the New York Times, The St. Petersburg Times, and MSNBC have made the list. Come on, O'Reilly! You can do better than that! I mean, one of them is a rival TV station for crying out loud! And did you really have to stretch to list the Times? Was that one a suprise to anyone? Have a little imagination!

Apparently these are the "worst offenders" of the "media operations [that] have regularly helped distribute defamation and false information supplied by far left websites." But have no fear, "In the months to come, we expect to add more names to this list." Bill also recommends "that you do not patronize these operations and that advertisers do the same. They are dishonest and not worth your time and money."

(Don't worry, I've linked to all of them above in case you do believe that they are worth your time and money.)

It's Much Worse Than We Thought, Folks

How do you tell someone that they are truly making the worst mistakes of their lives? How do you convince them of this when the only person that they listen to is saying completely the opposite?

You know it's bad when a die-hard feminist as myself wants to grab this person by the shirt and yell "Grow a pair!! Learn to think for yourself!!"

Out of respect for this person's family, who I love and care for dearly, this is all I will say on the matter. However, I can only bite my tongue for so much longer before I taste blood.

Here's To You, Mr. President

Esquire Magazine has named former President Bill Clinton as the world's most influential man. They have designated him as "the most powerful agent of change in the world" and highlights his accomplishments in the December issue. According to the Reuters article:

Since leaving office, Clinton has been so active that his post-presidency amounts to "a third term" for the Democrat who held the White House from 1992 to 2000, the magazine said. He has tackled global issues from AIDS, poverty and global warming to the recovery from last December's Indian Ocean tsunami.

I saw someone reading it on the plane flying to Arkansas. I'll probably write more about it after I read it.

Glorious

There are no words.

Thanks to A Socialite's Life for this.

Ugg, Just... Ugg

Welcome back to the dark ages, folks. According to The Guardian Unlimited (emphasis mine):

The lord chancellor and the director of public prosecutions are to be asked to look into a rape case which collapsed yesterday after the alleged victim told the jury she was unconscious from too much drink and could not remember what happened.

The prosecution dropped the case after the woman's cross-examination, saying "drunken consent is still consent". The judge directed the jury to find the defendant not guilty "even if you don't agree".

So, to recap - the judge in this case told the jury to find the defendant not guilty because the victim was drunk and couldn't remember what happened. This is blaming the victim to the nth degree. She was drunk so it's alright. This is one of the most disgusting arguements I've ever heard - "personal responsibility" which basically states if the victim is drunk, it's his/her fault but if the defendant is drunk, s/he didn't know what s/he was doing. How does that work? How does that make any sense?!?

One giant leap backwards for humankind.

Clash of the Titans

Oprah and David Letterman's long standing feud is about to be history! Oprah has accepted Letterman's long-standing invitation to be a guest on the show. The date has been set as December 1st and will probably not be as exciting as all of us Letterman fans are hoping, but I plan on watching it anyway.

Micheal Brown: Disaster Consultant

No, this is no joke. Former FEMA director Micheal Brown is starting a disaster preparedness consulting firm. So, let me get this straight - he's starting a consulting firm to help prepare firms for disasters.

Brown said officials need to "take inventory" of what's going on in a disaster to be able to answer questions to avoid appearing unaware of how serious a situation is.

Really? Hmmm...

"Hurricane Katrina showed how bad disasters can be, and there's an incredible need for individuals and businesses to understand how important preparedness is," he said.

Yes, yes it did. But... wait... weren't you the one who weren't prepared? Wasn't it you, Mr. Brown, who had no idea what to do during the worst natural disaster to affect the United States? And now you think you're qualified to get paid to tell people how to prepare for disasters?

Yes, yes, I'm sure you'll have loads of clients.

Shout it Loud, Sister Friend

Shakespear's Sister has such an amazing post about US Weekly's cover on Angelina Jolie that I must share it. To quote:

... I truly cannot believe that a magazine had the audacity to suggest on its cover that a woman who is a successful, intelligent, self-sufficient single mother to two children (pictured, by the way, taking her son to a museum), not to mention one of the most highly paid people in her field and a UN good will ambassador, who can fly an airplane, has multiple citizenships, and has won top awards in her profession, ought to get married for any reason.

A marriage certificate is no guarantee that people will stay together forever, anyway, nor that married parents automatically make better parents—two points to which anyone with two brain cells knocking together can surely acquiesce. So what bloody reason is there to imply Angelina should get married, aside from the lingering puritanism that likes to pretend only healthy children are raised in “traditional families” and the indelible sexism that still regards an unmarried woman as incomplete, no matter how successful and fulfilled she is?

Perhaps the only thing at which Angelina hasn’t been successful is marriage. So maybe she’s gun-shy; maybe she’s decided marriage isn’t for her; maybe she just doesn’t give a rat’s ass about convention, considering she will likely never have to be concerned with the financial protections marriage provides to most mothers and children; maybe they’re already secretly married. Whatever her reason, it doesn’t make a damn bit of difference, because none of it has any bearing on her ability to be a good mother, which, by all accounts, she is.

Can I get an Amen?!

See it all here.

Domestic Violence (Finally) in the News

The WHO (the World Health Organization, not the band) has just released the results of a huge domestic violence study. The findings are, apparently, huge and one of the first of it's kind.

The first-ever World Health Organization (WHO) study on domestic violence reveals that intimate partner violence is the most common form of violence in womenÂ’s lives - much more so than assault or rape by strangers or acquaintances. The study reports on the enormous toll physical and sexual violence by husbands and partners has on the health and well-being of women around the world and the extent to which partner violence is still largely hidden.

While I'm incrediblygratefull and thankful that worldwide attention is being paid to the issue of domestic violence, it makes me think "duh." Domestic violence is a horrifically widespread problem and has been for way too long. That people are astonished by the rates this report gives astonishes me. How do people not realize how many women are abused by their partners? It just makes me sad how people turn a blind eye to the more important issues.

On that note, it makes me want to shoot myself that on Google News, this story has 114 related stories while Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey's divorce has 413 related stories.

Indie Chick

The Movie Of Your Life Is An Indie Flick

You do things your own way - and it's made for colorful times.Your life hasn't turned out how anyone expected, thank goodness! Your best movie matches: Clerks, Garden State, Napoleon Dynamite

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

Sweet! Where's the Cash?

My blog is worth $564.54.
much is your blog worth?

Cold...Grumble Grumble Grumble...

I hate cold weather. In fact, I loathe being cold. I try desperately to deny that winter exists by warding it off by wearing flip-flops 9 out of the 12 months of the year. I hate having to dress like that kid from A Christmas Story to go outside only to have to strip to my skivvies because it's so hot once I get inside (since someone has turned the heat up to 'Bake' because no one can stand the cold.)

Now, before you Northern-types get all huffy with "Cold? You call that cold?!?" let me just say yes. Yes I do call this cold. I am from the South, I live in the South, I like Southern temperatures. (Can a sister get an amen?) Keep your near freezing wind chills - I'd rather have suffocating humidity. And don't give me that "you can put more clothes on if you're cold but you can't take more clothes off if you're hot" crap. Yes you can. And you can also have iced drinks, swimming pools, and other fun cool down activities when it's hot. During winter what do you have? Huddling in front of the fire trying to ward off hypothermia. Fun.

I'm like a tropical plant. Once it gets around 50 degrees, I've gotta stay inside with a blanket wrapped around me.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go gather nuts for my hibernation. I'll see you in Spring.

30 Glorious Facts

How have I never seen this site before yesterday?? How is this possible? The hours I spend wading through crap site after crap site and I never came across this gem? Simply atrocious.

Without further adieu, I give you The Top 30 Facts About Chuck Norris. Some of my favorites:

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

There is also The Top 30 Vin Diesel Facts (When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.) and The Top 30 Mr. T Facts (23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.)

You can vote for random Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel, and Mr. T facts or submit your own.

I promise that you will spend no less than one hour on this site. It's more addicting than meth.

Only In My Dreams

I have crazy dreams. Let me just start by saying that. Most of the time I wake up, tell Sam about them, then forget all about it by lunch. Not today. Today I feel I must tell the world my dream.

Last night MacGyver was in my dream.

And he saved me.

This is all Sam's fault. I had never watched MacGyver until the king of corny TV shows (no kidding - I had to just get off the phone with him because he's watching Boy Meets World) came along.

So, my dream is a little fuzzy now, but I'll give you the overview: I was in high school and for some reason there was a guy who was after me. So MacGyver was there to be my bodyguard. Well, the guy grabs me and takes me to his shack where he freaks out and starts screaming and pointing a gun at me. I start crying and freaking out (like you do) and MacGyver comes in and tries to talk the guy down. That doesn't work. The guy shoots at me, but misses (which is weird because he was at point-blank range) and MacGyver takes him out. After that, MacGyver and I are friends for life.


I hate myself.

None of This Really Goes Together...

...but I'm putting it all in the same post anyway.

John Cusack - not just a pretty face and excellent actor. Mr. Cusack has written quite a post on The Huffington Post.

Bill O'Reilly is a dick. But what else is new? He's started a "smear site/anti-military internet crowd" list on his website. One question - How do I get on?

If Fox News had been around throughout history... *shudder* Oh, the humanity!

I swear, later I'll have a non-political posting, I promise.

Saying Goodbye to a Dear Old Friend

Tonight we, here in the Jackson-Browning household, suffered the loss of a friend who has been with us (well, me) for over four years.

Tonight, my green flip-flops - the first flip-flops I ever bought - broke.

The tragedy happened as we were walking into Wal-Mart. Sam was walking behind me and acccidentally stepped on the back of my flip-flops. I kept walking and stepped through the flip-flop breaking the top part of it. I was devistated. Sam was devistated. We were both devistated - and we still had to go about our Wal-Mart shopping trip. It was awful.

Now we have both faced the facts that my flip-flop cannot be saved and thus must be "let go." I must say, however, that I am taking this loss MUCH better than Sam is. I think he has issues with death.

The Daily Show Glory

Today I discovered a couple of sites I hadn't seen before. Wonderful sites full of - could it be? - The Daily Show clips. *Blissful sigh* And now, I share them with you.

Some of the Best:

The one with Bill O'Reilly





The one after the inaguration
The one, of many, about Pat Robertson









The links to the pages I've been scrolling through all day: Google Video, OneGoodMove, and YouTube. Have fun.

Nothing Like a Little Snark in the Morning

Thanks to The Daily Kos for these images. There are more, you should check it out.

Why I Want to Bring Back Public Floggings

1. Pat Robertson - "I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: if there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God, you just rejected Him from your city... And don't wonder why He hasn't helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I'm not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that's the case, don't ask for His help because he might not be there."

2. Micheal Brown - still on the federal payroll at his $148,000 annual salary; asked "Can we use these people?" when told that medical equipment people have a 42-foot trailer full of beds, wheelchairs, oxygen concentrators, etc. and were waiting for his direction to go into hurricane ravaged areas.

3. Bill O'Reilly - "If Al Qaeda comes in here and blows you [San Franciscoo] up, we're not going to do anything about it," he continued. "We're going to say, 'look, every other place in America is off limits to you, except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead.'"

4. Bill O'Reilly (Again? Imagine that...) - "I don't believe most people who aren't Christian are offended by the words 'Merry Christmas.' I think those people are nuts." When guest Philip Nulman, an advertising and marketing executive, said that using the phrases "Season's Greetings" and "Happy Holidays" does not offend Christians, O'Reilly disagreed. "It absolutely does," he said. "And I know that for a fact."

That's enough for now. I'm starting to twitch.

Oh No! It's the Heat!

Sam offically got hired by the Columbus Police Department yesterday. (Better watch out Sipowicz, there's a new face of law enforcment.) However, I didn't show the appropriate amount of excitement when he told me his news. (It's true. I didn't.) So, to make up for that, I'm dedicating an entire post to Sam's budding law enforcement career and my excitement about it.

Congratulations sweetie. I'm proud of you.

Here's to many years of "*Bang bang bang* Open up!", "Do you know why I pulled you over?" and let's not forget "Ok, sonny Jim, what do you think you're doing, eh?"

:-)

This is Funny Stuff!

Thanks to BIll-in-Portland of The Daily Kos for this:

"Last month, the Senate voted for a ban on torture 90-9. You heard me correctly: Nine United States Senators refused to vote against torture. Those senators included Illinois Democrat Thumbscrews McGee, Iowa's Cattleprod von Analpair and, of course, Ted Stevens [of] Alaska."---Jon Stewart
-
"What's the next best thing to simply hiring ethical people [in the White House]? Explain to the crooks and liars you hired instead how ethical people would act."---Randi Rhodes
-
"It was reported this week that when he was in college, Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito supported gay rights. Apparently, his exact words were, `Let's get Jenn and Stacy drunk and see if they make out.'" ---Conan O'Brien
-
"The [rioting] immigrants, mainly North African Muslims, are upset that they're being shunned by French society. They feel alienated, scorned, looked down upon. Apparently, they're unaware this is a common situation known as Being French."---Rob Corddry
-
"New Rule: I'm not impressed by what college your kid is going to. George Bush went to Yale. The End."---Bill Maher

David Shuster, You're My Hero...

You need to watch this Hardball clip and then come back to finish reading my post. Do it.

...

Ok, I'm going to trust that you've watched the clip. A few thoughts I had about it:

1. Seeing it all laid out like this is jaw dropping. It's such a masterfully evil plan. As Shakespeare's Sister said "seeing it all again, all at once, is enough to make you want to drive to the White House and just start punching people randomly." I totally agree.

2. So, everyone in the White House has the same speech writer. "we don't want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud." At least rephrase it, people, come on!

3. How are there still people who believe anything that this administration says?? This is insanity. I swear, a democratic President who pulled this shit wouldn'tve made it to his second term.

4. How much does Chris Matthews resemble the SNL sketch? It's sick. I love it.

This is just one more reason, Sam, you shouldn't read/watch the news...

By the way, how much do you love this picture:

It's saved on my computer as "tiny cheney globe"

What I Do When I'm at Work: Part IV

Bobby Brown + Mike Tyson + The Monster Mash = Damn good television.
Halo + Tommy Boy = weird, but funny
Now this kid's got some moves!
"Illegal photographing?" Wow, I really think this lady is schitzo...
Great Daily Show segment about gay marriage. This guy actually asks Ed Helms if he's going to ask him serious questions.
Clocky - no, this is not a piece of poop on wheels; it's an actual product! Watch the video clips.

More of What I Do When I'm at Work

Guy totally rockin out at Best Buy (This is one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time)
Car chase - Sam you'll appreciate this one
This is a great ad. Kudos to whoever came up with this one.
Live on-the spot news + drunk people = great video.

Now for some awesome lip syncing!
Almost as good as System of a Down...
Asian Backstreet Boys
The best of the best

How to Make Sweet Tea

1. Put water in the pot.
2. Put pot on stove; turn burner on.
3. Put tea bag in pot.
4. Put 1/3 cup Splenda in pot.
5. Put lid on pot.

Do you see "fire" anywhere in these instructions? Me neither. Apparently Sam did, though. (Check out his post about it.)

I was reading in the living room while calling tea making instructions to Sam (he's never made sweet tea before... bless his heart). There was a lot of clanging, him asking questions I'd already answered, and me calling the answers in the tone of "Are you freaking kidding me? How complicated can this be?!?" It was sweet.

And then I hear softly "I think I have a problem..."

So I look over expecting to see him trying to fit the wrong lid on the pot. But no, I see fire. The tag on the end of the tea bag has stayed too long on the burner and caught fire. Sam blows it out. It goes out - and promptly relights. Bigger. He blows it out - it promtly relights again - bigger still. He blows it out again and it stays out this time. The whole time he's been muttering, exclaiming, and swearing under his breath. When it finally goes out, he stares at it for a second and then turns around to see if I've noticed.

I'd noticed.

I'm also laughing so hard I'm crying. Which makes him start laughing harder than I've ever seen him laugh. After Sam starts choaking from laughing too hard and the small amount of smoke the fire produced, I say "A problem? You think you have a problem? Your tea bag is on fire, Ace. I'd say that's a problem." Which promptly sets us both off again.

Step 4.5 - Put out fire.

I Got a Hug Today

From someone I don't know. It was odd and sweet at the same time. This girl in the class I TA for needed some help studying for the next test. I told her about a study guide booklet and we talked about it for a few mintues. Then she thanked me and gave me a hug.

More people should give out hugs as thank yous. I believe the world would be a nicer place if we had more physical contact with other people. Everyone is always in their own world concentrating on themselves - if we hugged more, we might, at least, realize that there are other people around.

If You Can't Be An Artist...

...support them.

Great art blogs I've found. (I'm open for more suggestions.)

J.I. Fine
ghettonomad
I love this picture of Memphis
CameraToss - Pictures taken while the camera is being tossed, thrown, dropped, or otherwise moving.

A different kind of art: Poetry

I love art.

Ok, Technically Now It's More Than 300 Words

I feel I didn't sufficiently explain why I'm torn about the situation. So I'll try:

1. MFT is harder. There's waaay more work involved in the MFT track plus I'm two classes behind already because I didn't take some of the classes this semester.

2. If I do MFT, I'm not sure I'll be able to do the research that I've become interested in. I'd be doing more clinical work than research and I'd probably be using clinical work for my thesis. I'm really into my topic (adolescent sexuality) so I'd rather do work on it.

3. I don't know if I want to even do clinical work anymore. I'm not so good with whiny people.

There's other reasons. I'll add to the list as I think of them.

My Major Career Decision in Under 300 Words

A little background: I am at Auburn getting my masters in the HDFS program (Human Development and Family Studies). Within this program there is a MFT (Marriage and Family Therapy) track - basically what you study to be a marriage and family therapist. Applying to Auburn, this is what I wanted to do. They only take 6 students to be in this track and I was picked as number 7. So, I come anyway and do the HDFS program because there's a strong possibility that I can reapply next year and get into the MFT program. I get to Auburn and I'm a TA for an undergrad class. I've gotten to teach several classes and I love it. I absolutely love it. Now I want to be a professor. I've found research that I want to do and I'm lovin that, so I think I've got down my track here, I know what I'm doing.

Today, the professor that I TA for tells me that there's an opening in the MFT group and I can start now if I want - I wouldn't have to wait a year. I tell him that I think I want to be a professor because I really liked teaching. He says, that's cool and all, but I could get my masters in MFT and my PhD in HDFS (what he's done) and be a professor.

Now what?

I like what I'm doing, but who knows if I'd like MFT more? (I tend to change my mind a bit.) I need to let them know soon because they're going to offer the spot to someone else.

Just when I think I know what I'm doing...

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

You've probably seen this before, but what the hell. It's still good.

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Yes, This Is What It Seems

Let me just say, I am my father's daughter.

Obligatory Halloween Post

What kind of blogger would I be if I didn't post some Halloween pictures? I know you're dying to see them.




Scuba Sam











Scuba Sam in the pool. Yes, it was cold. Yes, he had so much fun. I mean, just look at that face!







Me, the Gypsy Queen, doing something odd with my hands.





I took this one all by myself.

...it looks a little distorted...

Old Me v. Now Me: Irreconcilable?

Ok, readers, (yes, I'm pompous enough to call the 5 of you who stumble haphazardly across my blog "readers") tonight I pose a question to you: is it possible to be friends with someone now who knew you when you were a different person? I don't mean a "I was Henry and now I'm Rose" different, but different views, ideas, stances than when they knew you.

Is it possible to be friends without
1. feeling like you are reverting back to your old self
2. disappointing them because you aren't who they thought you were
3. having them compare the new you to the old you

How do you let an old friend know that you are different?

On a lighter note, we definitely saw some people driving around high tonight. It would have been more entertaining had we not been the ones behind their ridiculous slow-ness (re: the Black Sheep scene).

Aww, Isn't That Special...

I got this out of a fortune cookie.

*Cheesy grin*

A Syllogism

Syllogisms...you know, those three statements of sequential logic you did in middle school?

Well, a Republican senator of Indiana has one for us:
1. Gays and Lesbians cannot get married.
2. Gays and Lesbians can use infertility and surrogate treatments to have children.
3. We (self-righteous, right-wing, moral-legislating, narrow minded pompous weasels) can prevent number 2 by making it legal only for married couples to receive such treatments.

Look, Senator, if you want to criminalize homosexuality, just try to do that; doing it this way just makes you look like a hypocritical moron. Any 7th grader can follow you're infantile logic and see your pathetic attempt.

I have to go throw up.

Sorry, I can't take credit for this. Sam said it and allowed me to post it.

Harken Ye...

It seems that women's rights have once again gone out of style. Or perhaps, 'the powers that be' have decided that us pesky female-types have gotten out of control - with our voting rights, short hair styles, and (shudder) jobs. What have we been thinking?

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you 1984 played out in real time. Now, granted, they've since stated that "The issue has become more complex than anticipated and will be withdrawn from consideration by the Health Finance Commission" but the simple fact that it was ever in consideration is enough to ruffle this feminist's feathers and then some. This is a whole new level of "Keep your laws off my body."

Not to be outdone by their neighbors to the north, Kentucky has thrown it's hat into the your-ovaries-are-our-business ring.

I would write a scathing, sarcastic, and heavily loaded post about the absurdity of the whole obscene Kentucky situation (are my adjectives weighing you down yet?), but Sam has done a more brilliant job than I ever could.

If you need me, I'll be engaged in a massive letter writing campaign.

Today's career decision: Feminist Protestor

No Game Should Make Me Feel Like This

Stupid game. I defy anyone to beat this game.

Let me know if you do.

Word of warning: If you are prone to obssessing over things for days on end, do not - I repeat - do not attempt this game. You will be playing it for 6 days straight until you die from lack of food, water, and bathroom breaks.

Everybody's Doing It

Sam's started a blog. I've linked to it permanently under "Pages I Read" or whatever the heading is.

Time for some good old fashioned peer pressure:

Stephen, Elaine, who's going to be next? You don't want to be the last kid on the block with no blog...

UPDATE: Elaine has a blog now! Woohoo!

Tales From the Nuthouse

Sadly, I've come to the conclusion that everyone that resides in our apartment is, um, "touched." Let's start with the cat.

Phoebe (our cat) is either obsessive and paranoid or way to smart for me to figure her out. Anytime that we have to put medicine on her food, she realizes what we've done and proceeds to paw out individual pieces from her bowl onto the floor, sniff to make sure that one's okay, then eats it off the floor. Repeat process. She never gets the ones that have the stuff on them. Yesterday I woke up and went to feed her where I noticed that she had eaten exactly half of her food. Not half amount-wise, but all of the food in the right side of the bowl was eaten while the left side hadn't been touched. It was a perfect line of Purina down the middle of the bowl. Somebody explain this to me. Also, anytime anyone lays face down on the floor, bed, couch, etc. she has to lay on their butt. My cat prefers asses. She is an ass cat. (If I don't get at least one Google hit on the phrase "ass cat" I'm going to be sorely disappointed.)

On to the humans:

Sam has this really cute habit of being obsessively perfect on a project to the point of neglecting all other duties (work, sleep, food) until it's done (I know you're reading this, need I bring up the watch incident of last spring?). Really, it's very charming. And now, apparently, I've picked up this adorable little quirk. I spent the better part of 6 hours yesterday working on what should have been a small 30 minute ordeal when I had other actual grad school responsibilities I should have been attending to. I can't afford this kind of time to non-school activities! And I knew this, I just couldn't stop myself! I didn't used to be like this. I blame this completely on Sam.

There are other things, I just have to get to work now. Lord knows, I don't need to get side-tracked by blogging all day and not do anything else. Again.

Faker Detector

The BBC website has a pretty neat 'detect the fake smile' test. Which, by the way, I did remarkably well on. 18/20 correct, in fact.

I'm like a human fake-smile detector. Or something.

No Superheroes Need Apply

Someone, once, a long time ago, told me that I was their hero. At the time, I was flattered. I hadn't done anything to warrant being a hero - I was, at the time, not an activist, I hadn't even really formed my opinions on life yet. I think if I was in the same situation today, I would tell them not to think of me in that way. I mean, think about it. Heroes aren't people - they're images, fantasies, even, that are put on pedestals because of an idea we attach to them. Making a real person your hero will only result in the dissapointment of them to you. People are fallable; people inevitably make mistakes. No person can live up to the fantasy ideal of being a hero.

Unless you change what "hero" means.

My hero is anyone who stands up for what they believe in when everyone is against them. My hero is someone who tries to educate and change minds when they know it's a hopeless goal. My heroes are themselves no matter the cost. My heroes make mistakes - but learn from them. My heroes are real people in real situations doing what they know is best.

My heroes are quietly changing the world.

Politically I am...

You are a Social Liberal (76% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (10% permissive) You are best described as a: Socialist Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

This is the best part (I'm the yellow dot):

A Legend is Gone

Rosa Parks died today.

I'd love to say something beautiful and meaningful about what an incredible woman she was, but all I can think of is how sad it makes me that such an awesome and courageous woman is no longer with us. This article can say what I can't.

Will Blog for Money

Apparently, I haven't realized until now exactly how bad of a financial situation we're in. I get paid at the end of the month and we'll be able to pay rent and bills, but after that...

Sam's in the middle of the hiring process at the police department, but there's some kind of ridiculous hold up because he's been going through the process for about 2 months now. They need to get their freaking show on the road, here because we need to eat!

I'm freaking out so much. I'm going through our stuff (mentally and physically) to figure out what we can sell. Where exactly do you sell stuff when you need money? I know pawn shops, but do they buy everything or just guns 'n gold?

Anyone want to buy a used statistics book?

UPDATE: Thanks to everyone who offered money and/or suggestions to my money woes. We found out that Sam's going to start getting paid in a couple of weeks. So, while we still have another tight month to get through, it's going to get better. Woohoo!

What I do When I'm at Work: Part II

One of the absolute funniest SNL skits I've ever seen.

I need more cowbell, baby!

Matrix in the City - kinda funny.

Sex tape blooper - no nudity, pretty funny.

Crazy rock climber dude. This guy is freaking insane.

Ok, I actually have to do work now.

Ooo... Suck It!

Ok, stupid title, but that's what I feel like shouting everytime I read this.






I found it somewhere on the internet, unfortunatly, I don't remember where.

Spying at Nature

We've come to the conclusion that the TV rules our house entirely too much. Last week, Sam and I decided that we are going to have to put restrictions on how much TV we watch during the week. We haven't actually put this plan into action yet, but I think it's going to work marvelously. The plan is that now, maybe, I can get my readings done before the day of class.

However, there is now something else that vies for my unadulterated staring-blankly-at-the-screen time - WildCam AFRICA. This thing is amazing. You can see all kinds of Serengeti-type animals coming to drink at this water hole, mingling together like its happy hour.

Most of the time, though it's just the watering hole. And bird noises.

I did see some elephants and that was really cool. But that was once. About 2 hours ago. For 15 minutes. And yet, the WildCam window is still open on my computer. The sun is setting so it is kind of grayed out the picture.

Hopefully when it's dark I can go on with my life.


UPDATE: The camera does night vision. There is no hope for my studies.

Bitchfest #1

Holy shit, I'm in such a bad mood right now. I mean, I don't think it could get any worse. Sam and I went over to his mom's tonight (actually, he's still there). We just got there, I mean just walked in the door, and she offers us some cookies that she just got at the store. I'm excited because I've been craving chocolate all day and then Sam turns to me and says "do you have your [insulin] pen?" No, of course I don't. So he gives me the car keys and says I have to go get it. I'm in shock. Really? I can't just wait until later when we're back home? Nope. Now. So I'm pissed. I grab the keys and leave. He follows and says that he'll go and I can stay, but I can't let him do that because then I'd be the girl who made my boyfriend go get my insulin while I sat at his mom's house and ate her cookies. So now, I'm at home debating on whether I even want to go back over there.

But there's no chocolate here.

Damn the Trojans

My computer has a virus that now makes it run shoot-myself-in-the-face slow. I consider myself pretty computer savvy, but getting rid of this thing is going to take some kind of major computer miracle. I just don't have the patience to go through the whole process that I need to. And Norton AntiVirus is just messing with my head. Apparently, it feels the need to constantly have a box open to tell me that I have a virus, but it can't do anything about it.

Thanks. That helps. Shut up and go back to not protecting my computer at all.

I Saw a Guy in a Superman Shirt Today

Hmmm, guess not.

I had my first official professor experience today. I lectured today since Scott is in Italy. It went well. Of course, I forgot the video I was supposed to show, so class was only 25 minutes long. Oh, well. Better next time.

What I do While I'm at Work

Full House Uncensored

Kanye West and Mike Myers, together again

Debbie Downer

I am worth $1,813,760 on HumanForSale.com

Blech

I've been sick. I still feel pretty lousy. I have my first midterm tomorrow.

That's pretty much all I have to say.

Oh, and I haven't had coffee in days.

The "Case" for Christ

For my birthday, one of the things I got from my grandmother was Lee Strobel's The Case for Christ (No, I'm not linking because I'm not endorsing the purchase of this book. Get over it.). Apparently, she thinks I need to be convinced of Jesus's existence because I let her read one of my Spong books. Foolish me. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my grandmother and she's a great woman. She's just very Southern - proper, Jesus loving, Sunday dinner-cooking, you get the idea.

I am horifically appalled that Strobel was an investigative reporter. Someone needs to review his investigations - hopefully no one ever went to jail for his investigations because they need a full pardon. I've read some reviews and an incredible analysis of his "arguments" so I'm not going to go totally in depth about it.

Let me sum up:

Strobel attempts to "prove" that Jesus was the son of God by "investigating" and interviewing authorities in the field. Which would be fine and dandy if he had interviewed anyone who didn't already believe what he was trying to prove. He talks about people and groups who don't believe - but he never actually talks to them. I have a major problem with this. Also, he "proves" that the New Testament is real and the truth by saying that the oral tradition that was the norm in Jesus's time was accurately transcribed into the books of the New Testament because the people would have memorized the exact way the events took place. Now, anyone who's ever taken an intro to Psychology course knows the problem with that statement. Scores of studies have proven (actually proven in a scientific way) that the human memory is incredibly faulty and unreliable. And he throws around big names like John Douglas (of FBI behavioral analysis fame) to make him seem credible, but to people who know who he's talking about he just sounds like an even bigger idiot. FYI - John Douglas would never try to profile someone in the manner that this idiot does.

Needless to say, I'm exchanging the book at Barnes & Noble.

I am a leaf on the wind.

You will be missed.

Ok, to catch up on birthdays: Happy birthday to mother, Buddy Dad, Morgan, Molly and Me! Yes, it was my birthday on Saturday. It was a good day. I got presents and cake and treated sweetly, so I was happy.

I'm doing "interviews" today and tomorrow to find a major professor. It's a little nerve-racking. I had one this morning, I have another one in 45 minutes and the last tomorrow. I feel like I'm just going in and saying "hi, hello, can I quiz you for about half an hour and hope that you like me and my interests enough to take me under your wing for the next 2-3 years? So, how are you?"

Whew! I just had a panic moment - I couldn't find my phone. I hate being so reliant on technology. This coming from the girl who checks her email 178 times a day. Geeze, I'm so conflicted. Cognitive dissonance! Cognitive dissonance!

Shiny

"There's nothing like a major motion picture to make you feel better about your television show being canceled."

That's a great line.

Serenity starts tomorrow. I'm excited. I probably won't be able to see it tomorrow, being poor and not being able to afford $8 movie tickets. Dangit. Maybe I can convince Sam to go to the matinee with me. I'm sure it won't be hard - he's more excited about seeing it than I am.

I have to come back to Auburn tomorrow. This blows. I was really wanting to have tomorrow off. But, no. Now I have to be here at 9. Hopefully not for very long, though. My professor is going out of the country for a couple of weeks and I have to teach some of his classes and give a test. Apparently he's too busy getting his passport and making arrangements for his trip to meet with me today. Geeze. I'm way more important than all that stuff. ...ok, maybe not. It's still a pain.

Happy Birthday Elaine!

I made this cake for you.

Not really - but I did find this picture of a cake on the internet for you.

That counts for something, doesn't it?

I'm holding your present hostage until you come visit.

That's "Madam President" To You

I will be President. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I want to be President. Last Presidential election Jane (of the magazine Jane) had a mock campaign and her slogan was "It's time for a real bush in the White House."

I love that.

I watched the premire of Commander-in-Chief last night. I'm hooked. Geena Davis is completely believeable as the President. Her speech at the end of the show... amazing. That's just good T.V. God, I'm ready for a woman to be President. Or even an Independant!

There's all kind of buzz about how if this show is good it could pave the way for a woman in the White House. I sure hope so. I don't think it'll be next election, though. Right now, there's no one who could get enough votes. The buzz is that Hilary Clinton will run, but I think she's smarter than that. Sure, I'd vote for her - I think she's brilliant - but, too many people hate that strong-willed-independant-thinking-for-herself-type woman.

Hmm... maybe I should work on my image...

Today's career decision: President

School Expels Girl for Having Gay Parents

This is the most ridiculous CRAP I've ever seen.

First Post

I have realized that there are only two people in the whole world who really know me - Sam and Elaine. They are the only people that I really consider "close friends." I guess it's a good thing that Sam is, considering I live with him. I was reading Amanda's and Morgan's blog-type pages and it was strange, because it was like I didn't know them at all. But, it's not like I've made a major effort to keep in touch with them. I'm not really sad about it - it's more ... just a fact. I am really bad at keeping in touch with people. I email less than a handful of people from high school and college combined. I keep saying that I'll do better, but I won't.

As I was walking to my office today, I saw a table set up outside of the Hayley Center. On it was a sign that said "Tired of Liberal Proffessors? Auburn Republicans can help you speak up." I just looked at them and laughed. I kind of hoped that one of the three very J.Crew looking young men had asked me if I was interested in joining. That would have made my day.


Fun images from the Angry Left:


Today's career decision: Liberal College professor.