This is Funny Stuff!

Thanks to BIll-in-Portland of The Daily Kos for this:

"Last month, the Senate voted for a ban on torture 90-9. You heard me correctly: Nine United States Senators refused to vote against torture. Those senators included Illinois Democrat Thumbscrews McGee, Iowa's Cattleprod von Analpair and, of course, Ted Stevens [of] Alaska."---Jon Stewart
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"What's the next best thing to simply hiring ethical people [in the White House]? Explain to the crooks and liars you hired instead how ethical people would act."---Randi Rhodes
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"It was reported this week that when he was in college, Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito supported gay rights. Apparently, his exact words were, `Let's get Jenn and Stacy drunk and see if they make out.'" ---Conan O'Brien
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"The [rioting] immigrants, mainly North African Muslims, are upset that they're being shunned by French society. They feel alienated, scorned, looked down upon. Apparently, they're unaware this is a common situation known as Being French."---Rob Corddry
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"New Rule: I'm not impressed by what college your kid is going to. George Bush went to Yale. The End."---Bill Maher